13 Things I want to do before I die

1. Skydive. I know this will probably be the thing that kills me. Even thinking about it kinda makes me anxious. My luck, the parachute won't open, and I'll be one of those people who bounce twice and live to tell about it...from a wheelchair that I have to move with my mouth

2. Build a tree house. I would have to definitely get some help on this because I'm about as handy as a donkey. But it would be fun to build a super cool tree house, like the one in the movie "Jack" or "The Sandlot."

3. Hunt a Grizzly bear. I'm going to go to Alaska and hunt a Grizzly. I'm not going after deer, ducks or squirrels...I want something that, if I miss, will kill me. If it does attack me, then I'm going to try to stab it in the eye with a stick and kill it with my bare hands (get it...bare hands. Hilarious).

4. Run a marathon. Just kidding. I think I can make it through my life without ever putting myself through that. A marathon seems more like torture than fun to me. Plus, it would take me a week and a half to run 26 miles. I don't think I can get that much time off work.

5. Be on David Letterman. I don't know why he would ask me, but I think it would be fun to be a guest on his show. Maybe if I kill a bear with my bare hands he'll ask me to be on his show.

6. Go into outer space. Maybe in the future, trips to outer space will be a lot cheaper and I could afford to go. "Forget about Italy, I'm going to the moon," I'll say.

7. Write a book. I get ideas, but I never follow-through. I started a book called, "Don't eat the Meatballs." I've been thinking about another book called "Replaceable." I just don't ever finish them, so I don't know how they turn out.

8. Be on the news for witnessing something historical. I don't want to be on the news for doing it, unless it's good (but usually the news can care less about the good stuff and only focus on horrible tragedies). Maybe I'll get to see a lion escape from a zoo and kill some penguins on something. ( I realize that's not historical, so maybe the lion can attack Hilary Clinton...she doesn't have to die or anything, maybe the lion will just lick her and tickle her, and I'll get to laugh because the lion is tickling her so hard...but deep down, I'd be concerned).

9. Go on a safari. I want to see monkeys and hippos in the wild.

10. Go to as many MLB stadiums and watch a game as possible. So far, I've got 3. I think I have 29 to go.

11. Learn to play the guitar well. I know the chords, but getting my fingers to go where I tell them to is another thing altogether. My fingers are all toddlers when it comes to the guitar. They go wherever they want with no rhyme or reason, just like Parker. This morning the kid was trying to climb into the dishwasher. I kept telling him to get out of there. He doesn't listen, just like when I tell my fingers to go somewhere on the guitar.

12. Adopt a kid. I want to adopt a bunch of kids, preferably after they have been potty-trained. I'd like to get a kid from Africa, a girl from Asia (to protect her from what a lot of girls without families have to go through there) and some foster kids from the US who nobody really wants. My heart dies when I think about kids who are unwanted. I wish I could take care of them all.

13. Learn to surf. Of course we'd have to move back to the West Coast near the ocean. It was a lot of fun, and I think if I worked at it, I could do it. Plus it's a workout and a half. I was so tired after it was all over from paddling out and trying to get over the waves. Some people make it look so easy. I make it look as hard as it really is. Also, I make getting in and out of wetsuit look as hard as it really is too. I struggle at it.