13 Jobs I would Rock at

1. Rock Star--If I had musical ability and could sing, I think I would be an excellent rock star. I'd get the crowd moving by shaking my hips.

2. Person who gets to say which commercials get to be aired on t.v.--I'm not sure what the exact title of this would be, but there are some dumb commercials out there that never should have been made. I would like to be the filter that says these don't get to be on t.v.

3. Cartoonist--Again, I would have to be able to draw. But just yesterday I had a great idea for a cartoon, and I can see it in my head, but when I try to translate that into my own picture, it always looks as if a five year old with no talent drew it.

4. Sports Announcer--As long as I got to speak my opinion and announce for a team I liked. I couldn't do it on Sports Center where it could be random teams. I would have to do it for OU, and when they win, I could mock the other team. I think that would actually be fun to watch: 1 fan from each team gets to watch the game and talk smack about the other's team the whole time.

5. Windshield Tester--I hear these guys get to use canons and shoot chickens at windshields to make sure they won't break. I think I would rock the socks off that job. I almost got a job as a chicken catcher once in college, but it's not the same.

6. Storyteller--I would love to be able to just sit and tell stories to people who would listen. Or write stories and have somebody illustrate them for me.

7. Security Consultant--I knew a guy in high school who got to go to a bunch of Wal Marts and test their security be seeing how much he could steal and get away with. Of course he had to give everything back, but I think that would be super fun, because you'd get all the thrill without the consequences. It'd be a big game.

8. Record Store Owner--I think I would have a great time talking music to people all day. But like Jack Black in High Fidelity, I think I would be too opinionated about the music I don't think is any good. "What do you mean you're going to buy Matchbox 20. Those guys are the murderers of rock-n-roll. They're rock-n-roll's Yoko."

9. Video Game Tester--I don't think I really need to explain this one at all.

10. Chocolate Factory Owner--Like Willy Wonka. It would be fun to have Oompa Loompas and go around and decided on new types of candy. I'd use more macadamian nuts, and lots of chocolate. I wouldn't use sausage.

11. Radio Programmer--The guy who gets to say what music gets played on the radio. Just because the record companies send me something and spend a lot of money to get it played on the radio doesn't mean it needs to be played. If the song stinks, forget it. A few years ago there was a band called The Darkness that had a song "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" or something like that. It was the worst song ever written, but every time I turned on the radio it was getting played. Of course it's all subjective, but I think my opinions are great...otherwise I would change them.

12. Movie Director--I love making movies, and it would be awesome with all the technology and equipment that Hollywood directors get to use. My first movie would be about monkeys taking over the world...wait, maybe that's been done before.

13. Miner--I like to dig holes.